(SPOT.ph) After clinching two golds on the Olympic floor, Carlos Yulo tumbled into another spectacle even before his homecoming: the media circus around his family. It’s been a cringe-worthy coverage—all of us are tired of it—and with the drama still ongoing like a TV series with sporadic installments, it has for many eclipsed the historic triumph the 24-year-old gymnast trained all his life for.

But while we can all just let the Yulo teleserye run its course, we cannot simply let the sexist comments slide, particularly those directed toward Chloe Anjeleigh San Jose, Yulo’s now-controversial girlfriend.

A Chloe post last August attracted 60K+ likes and a lot of opinion on her appearance.
PHOTO BY Chloeanjeleigh on Instagram

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Chloe’s fate was sealed the moment the Yulo matriarch Angelica dragged her into the family feud. In an interview with Bombo Radyo, she blamed Chloe for her rift with her son: “Ang naging mitsa lang naman ever since is ‘yung babae talaga.” The moment she was cast under the spotlight, Chloe was the designated villain.

Why the Chloe hate

The image Angelica painted to media made her son’s Fil-Aussie girlfriend an easy target for traditional, conservative Filipinos who only helped in further pegging Chloe as the bad girl, the kind you don’t bring home to mom. Online, where every other clout chaser is milking the Yulo drama of its engagement-giving prowess, Chloe is accused of many things and called many names—Goldilocks, most likely due to her blonde hair, the most harmless of them. They say she steals the spotlight meant for Caloy. They body shame her. It doesn’t help that she responds quickly and provokingly, sometimes with images of her rear end.

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People further blame her for Yulo’s tarnished relationship with his family, claiming it is her duty to bring them back together. Everything was her fault—not Angelica’s alleged mismanagement of funds, nor Carlos’ own agency to step away from his own flesh and blood. No, the downfall of the Yulo family, according to netizens, is the sole responsibility of one Chloe San Jose.

Chloe: “I’m not here to please anyone.”
PHOTO BY Chloeanjeleigh on Instagram

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This negative portrayal of Chloe became more pronounced when people began comparing her to Caroline Joyeux, Olympic pole vaulter E.J. Obiena’s girlfriend, who is “quiet”, “decent” and “low-key”. One comment about Joyeux encapsulates people’s expectations of women: “Ganito ang mga gf ng mga athletes ang simple pero napakaganda at hindi uhaw [sa atensyon].”

But wives and girlfriends, a.k.a. WAGs, shouldn’t be boxed into one description, and they certainly shouldn’t be pitted against each other.

“I’m not here to please anyone, I know what I did and didn’t,” Chloe once wrote in a social media post. “Feel free to keep believing whatever you see and read online, it doesn’t matter—I know my truth and so does the people around me, most specially mahal Carlos. The universe has my back.”

A female partner’s role

Sports reporter and award-winning writer Ceej Tantengco explains that there’s a long history of sports media putting the spotlight on WAGs “whether through the live broadcast focusing on girlfriends praying during crucial moments, or social media accounts of publications reposting players’ personal photos in a way that’s similar to marketing ‘love teams’.” In the age of social media, WAGs draw enough attention to merit endorsements and brand partnerships. They’re marketable attachments to athletes.

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“Under this system, being a partner of an athlete is aspirational,” Tantengco says. “But there are also unspoken expectations that come with it. To be the ‘supportive’ partner, you need to look a certain way, act a certain way, and express your support in a certain way.” San Jose speaks up on herself, and for that, she is punished.

 
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But there is no one way to be a supportive wife or girlfriend. More importantly, there is no one way to become a woman in sports. We’ve already seen it with Hidilyn Diaz and Nesthy Petecio: they lift weights, throw a punch, and bring home medals.

However, the stereotype persists because sports media remains sexist. In 2017, Tantegco along with Charmie Lising, analyzed the adjectives and descriptions of local athletes from various PH sports media outlets. In their research, women were talked about because of their looks 32% of the time, versus only 8% for men.

It doesn’t help that the past few years have seen accusations of domestic abuse directed towards Philippine Basketball Association players. Wives who have come forward include Queenie Manalo-Belga who accused Rain or Shine’s Beau Belga, Kristina Jalalon and Sam Abueva who accused Magnolia Hotshots’ Jio Jalalon and Calvin Abueva respectively, and Agatha Uvero who accused then-Blackwater shooting guard Paul Desiderio. Save for Desiderio, the remaining players still continue to play in the PBA.

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Despite all this, only three weeks ago, the PBA opened its season with Vivamax actress Angeli Khang doing a number reminiscent of dance routines in a noontime TV show.

So it seems women only have two options in the world of sports: to shut up or sway their hips.

Vilifying Chloe is just another form of silencing. God forbid a woman speaks up to defend herself. In fact, god forbid a woman speaks. Wives and girlfriends are only acceptable to society if they are unnoticeable and silent.

No wonder we don’t listen to them when they emerge with scars.