There is a line in a poem by Nigerian artist Oroma Elewa, often misattributed to Frida Kahlo, that condenses the artist’s experience somehow universally: “I am my own muse,” it reads. “I am the subject I know best. The subject I want to better.”

Artists across mediums take in outward experiences, soak them up into their psyches, and spew them out as an emotionally wrought piece. At the end of it, the artwork finds its way to the other side, a stranger, the viewer, who, by a miracle, resonates with the innermost thoughts of its creator. But art-making can often start as a solitary act, with the artist drawing inspiration from the barest of essentials—beginning with nothing but their own self.

And if the Filipino television- and movie-going crowd are the viewers, then Kathryn Bernardo is someone on the other side, an artist whose canvas has been placed under the microscope since her yesteryears in Goin’ Bulilit. Donning the wearable art of Preview’s Best Filipino Fashion Designers 2024 honorees Rik Rasos of Proudrace, Gabbie Sarenas, Neric Beltran, Martin Bautista, and Joseph Bagasao of BAGASÁO, the 28-year-old actress is marking this year’s Preview Ball with authenticity running in the lines of her life’s work, and at the core of it, her very self.

PHOTO BY PHOTO: Cenon at Mav

Kathryn Bernardo for Preview September 2024

The Making of an Artwork

In the literal sense of the word, Kathryn Bernardo was in the midst of making her art when she took our call. It was evening in Calgary, Canada, and the actress had taken a brief moment in the last leg of her shooting schedule for Hello, Love, Again to converse with Preview.

Much as any artist, the challenges of shooting a film are embroiled with physical toil and the emotional demands needed to portray a character. As the sequel to 2019’s Hello, Love, Goodbye, one of the Philippines’ highest-grossing films of all time, the bar has been set, and it was hanging over them on set. “I feel like everyone’s waiting for this and I’m trying not to be too pressured sa mga sinasabi at expectations ng mga tao,” Kathryn admitted. “So, ‘yun talaga ‘yung at least na iniisip ko ngayon.”

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ON KATHRYN: Dress, Custom, MARTIN BAUTISTA

Jethro Ian Lacson

The 2019 film leaves a bittersweet note to audiences, as Kathryn’s character, Joy, parts ways with Alden Richards’ Ethan, albeit with a loving assurance. In Hello, Love, Goodbye, the two roles find an unexpected connection in the bustling cityscape of Hong Kong, but the realities of life are left prioritized over a simmering romance. Love exists at the end of it, but the film’s sequel will pose more questions as they find each other in Canada, a starkly different setting from five years past.

Cenon at Mav

To portray Joy, a nursing graduate and domestic helper, Kathryn took cues from Director Cathy Garcia-Sampana for the original film, immersing herself in the lives of Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs) while filming on location. During the first movie’s promotional run, the actress famously recounted how those around her referred to her as “Joy.” At one point, Kathryn had been barred from using her phone in hopes of staying laser-focused on her character, which, admittedly, led to some frustration on her part.

But for the second time around, things were different. “We talked about it before. It was a nice learning experience for me, but siguro meron lang ibang ways to do it this time,” Kathryn reflected. “I’m 28 now and I feel like ang dami na ding nangyari at nakatulong din ‘yung mga personal experiences ko.”

Cenon at Mav

“I told Direk Cathy na, of course I’m gonna respect her ways, kung ano ‘yung gusto niya para malabas ‘yung tamang emotions. But also now, it’s like teamwork,” she explained. “I’m very honest with her kung ano ‘yung comfortable ako sa process para marating ko ‘yung mga emotions na kailangan. Iba ‘yung naging process ko ngayon, iba din ‘yung hinihingi ng story.”

The story of Hello, Love, Again is a contrast to Hello, Love, Goodbye, after all. The questions that surround the sequel are the aftermath of a boy-meets-girl story, where five years have passed—along with a true-to-life pandemic—and how a long-distance relationship paints their blissful, honeymoon stage in a different light. According to Kathryn, Joy is a different person compared to her younger self. The pandemic and Canada have changed her, and the movie’s second part was its manifestation.

Cenon at Mav

ON KATHRYN: Denim waistcoat dress and pants, Custom, BAGASÁO. Fendi Filo white leather ballerinas, $770 (approximately P43,429.93), FENDI, fendi.com.

Jethro Ian Lacson

And with Joy’s change comes a change in her relationship with Ethan. Kathryn noted that her dynamic with Alden as the leads had helped improve how they portrayed their characters. “The familiarity is there, which is good,” she said. The actress compared this to when they worked on the original film, which she considered a “warm-up,” given that it was their first project together. “Easier lang in a way because we’ve been friends for quite some time now. Nakatulong na na-build namin ’yung friendship, so I’m very comfortable with him now and ganun din siya sa akin. Nandyan pa rin ’yung willingness namin ni Alden to perform well and to make this work, which is ’yung gusto din namin since day one.”

Cenon at Mav

The character of Joy is far from the personality she has behind the scenes. It’s the beauty of acting, and one she revels in more often than not. Out of her vast filmography, Kathryn noted that not one role was similar to her in real life. But when viewed closely enough, the actress and the character’s arcs seemed alike in trajectory, as they both find themselves at the high points of change.

A Work in Progress

In recent months, the much-dubbed “experimental” age of Kathryn echoed across the internet, following the release of her acclaimed role in the 2023 film A Very Good Girl. While the actress previously argued that this era wasn’t necessarily more “experimental” than her other works, the dual-character revenge story of the Petersen Vargas project saw Kathryn testing the limits of performance, which had a seeming domino effect on her next projects.

In the earlier half of 2024, Kathryn fronted brands in a more “daring” visage—to use a showbiz-induced term—with her likeness on billboards that could literally stop traffic. When reflecting upon it, reaching to this point was a gradual buildup that met a natural peak. “I would say na I’ve noticed the change too,” Kathryn said. “I feel like I’m in control of my own life now—my body, my choices. It didn’t happen overnight. Gradually nangyari siya, and up until now I’m still working on it.”

Cenon at Mav

“I feel like I’m in control of my own life now—my body, my choices.”

This was a distinct change from the Kathryn of years ago, the teenager who starred in a string of rom-coms and primetime teleseryes. Teen Kath had been hesitant about showing semblances of her real-life self, the actress admitted. “During those times, I was just getting to know myself. Kinikilala ko pa ‘yung sarili ko just like a normal teenager,” she recalled.

The difference, of course, was the scrutiny that comes for a young celebrity, who had grown into their adult selves without the privacy that the rest of society is afforded. “It was a tough time for me because I didn’t know how to say things without offending people. I used to overthink when it came to talking to people or presenting myself.”

“Nakilala ko ‘yung sarili ko publicly, so nakita ng mga tao ‘yung mga good and bad decisions na nagawa ko throughout my teenage life,” she said. “I would say na parang late bloomer ako when it comes to that, because it was just during my early 20s when I felt that change.”

Cenon at Mav

ON KATHRYN: Top, trousers, tulle skirt and scarf, Custom, GABBIE SARENAS

Jethro Ian Lacson

Eventually, it reached her current standing, where her perspective in life has become less confined by society’s expectations, and by extension, herself. “I just want to present myself out there, and I’m just giving the freedom sa mga tao whether they like it or not,” Kathryn stated. “There are days na I don’t feel that beautiful, but I just try to remind myself every day kung ano ‘yung worth ko. At the end of the day, kakampi mo lang sarili mo.”

At the basis of this belief was Kathryn’s freedom to exhibit her most authentic self. In the eyes of the bystander, there’s a seeming contradiction to the divide between the celebrity and Kathryn the person and expressing authenticity, where strangers are only privy to what she allows others to see. Such an act requires a masterful balance, which artistas like her have been walking the line. “If we become super authentic, some people might not understand,” she said. “But for me, ‘yun ‘yung ayokong mawala sa akin eh—my authenticity, especially as a person, not as the muse but as the woman they see.”

Cenon at Mav

Kathryn recalled the Preview September cover shoot, where she stood in front of illustrators as they sketched her likeness. With each artist, different versions of Kathryn Bernardo could come up and emerge, each one with its own nuances and interpretations. But she sat among them, creating herself, in the eyes of her and her alone. “As the muse, it’s what people see. You show the most beautiful sides of you, all the good sides. Almost perfect,” she recounted. “But then, kung tinignan mo ‘yung other side, you also see this woman and she’s just a human being.”

“I can relate to that more because I realize na now I’m more honest to myself, I’m more real,” Kathryn said. “I’m in the process of becoming more confident with who I am and what people see.”

The Portrait of the Artist

When looking back, Kathryn acknowledged that a vital part of her change was the past year. “It’s safe to say that 2023 has been a big, big part of that growth,” she remarked. “The world has become my classroom.”

The past few months saw her name strewn across headlines, among them, achievements that marked milestones in her life and career. Earlier this year, Kathryn unveiled her sprawling new home, the fruit of her labor, to many of her friends and family members. Alongside this, she maintained and added to her list of brand ambassadorships and welcomed a much-deserved trophy to her shelf: a prestigious Filipino Academy of Movie Arts and Sciences (FAMAS) award, which she won Best Actress for her role in A Very Good Girl.

Cenon at Mav

ON KATHRYN: Embellished gown, Custom, NERIC BELTRAN

Jethro Ian Lacson

All these points of the previous months would be surprising to consider for Kathryn of last year, who, in her November 2023 cover story, mused about the uncertainty of the future and the excitement it brought. We returned to the question, and the feeling hadn’t waned for her, it seemed. “I just think that uncertainties are opportunities for us to grow,” she said. “All the experiences, all the things that happened, I don’t have any regrets. I just think na that shaped me into who I am now, and I’m just excited. I’m just so excited anong mangyayari in the coming months, in the coming years. I’m just here, a student of life, and I’m willing to grow, and I’m very open with it now.”

“I’m the artist of my life’s masterpiece, and my canvas is still being painted.”

Cenon at Mav

ON KATHRYN: Cape, Custom, PROUDRACE

If Kathryn Bernardo’s life was a canvas, a stark white sheet from her child actress days had grown into sketch marks, where an artist’s struggle of erasures and do-overs are visible, where the draft has turned into colorful splatters that soon become well-rendered—proof that development happens, bit by bit. It’s all part of the process, and Kathryn knows it.

“I think it’s just—it’s gonna be a long journey, and whatever I do, I just want to be in control of my life now,” she mused. “I feel like now, I’m the artist of my life’s masterpiece, and my canvas is still being painted. Every day I get to put colors, I get to put different shapes in my life.”

Cenon at Mav

ON KATHRYN: Deconstructed hoodie, Custom, PROUDRACE

Jethro Ian Lacson

“Nasa transition stage ako ng buhay ko. It’s very tough, to be honest, but I know na this will all be worth it, and I want my future self to thank me for that.”

It’s a visual we can imagine: Kathryn, stepping back to admire the metaphorical painting she has made. This art piece is marked by her own doing, a representation that was true to herself, void of anybody’s else interpretation. But however anyone imagines it, there’s one thing true: There’s still plenty of space left in the canvas.

“Sa ngayon, hindi pa tapos ‘yung artwork,” she declared. “I have the freedom to add to that, because I’m the artist.”

Produced and Styled by the Preview Team
Photographers: Cenon at Mav
Creative Director: Bacs Arcebal
Editor-in-Chief: Marj Ramos-Clemente
Production: Reg Rodriguez
Fashion: Paulina Singh
Beauty Direction: Isha Fojas
Hair: John Valle
Makeup: Justine Del Rosario
Nails: Kathnails
Set and Production Design: Rocketsets
Illustrator: Jethro Ian Lacson
Story: Katrina Maisie Cabral
Video Direction: Jana Jodloman
Videographers: Jino Del Mundo and Greeko Junio
BTS Photographer: Cha Remigio
Shoot Location: TGIS Studio
Special thanks to Amand Coffee Bar and HeyBo Philippines

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