Patuloy pa rin ang pangungulila ni Jackie Forster sa dalawang anak nila ng ex-husband niyang si Benjie Paras—sina Andre at Kobe Paras.

Matagal nang hindi nakikita, nakakapiling, at nakakausap ni Jackie ang dalawa niyang anak na lalaki sa komedyante at dating basketbolista.

Nitong nakaraang Biyernes, February 20, binigyang-diin ni Jackie ang kanyang pagka-miss sa mga binata nang anak sa pamamagitan ng Instagram post.

Itinuturing din niya ang mga ito bilang diary ng kanyang buhay.

Aniya, “So many negative stories have been made public so I prayed about how and when to share more.

“And since I found many of my old photos and videos recently and need to have an outlet, I will post a diary/memoir here on my profile.

“Trust me I know everything will fall into place in His perfect time.

“Nobody knows more than me about how perfect His timing always is and how patience and prayer get you the very best He has to offer.

“This is my diary and this is how I choose to share. All I ask is for some respect.

“You can unfollow if you don’t have any respect for me, my family or what I stand for.

“God bless your hearts and may you also find closure and acceptance to things that have haunted and hurt you in your lives.

“I want Andre and Kobe to know that even if I am in a better place, happy with new children… nothing and nobody will ever take their place.

“And no matter how hurtful the things they’ve said and done to me have been I will always chose love and forgive because I am their mother and nothing AND NOBODY CAN EVER TAKE MY PLACE ♡♡♡

“We were blessed with each other because that is Gods devine plan. Whatever we are going through had a greater purpose, to show those broken by people and circumstances that Gods love and grace will prevail over all evil that tries to stand in His way.

“Our family will always welcome them both with open arms!
We will always keep extra space in our home for them whenever they want to come stay with us.

‘A very miserable life’

Sa kasunod niyang post, kalakip nito ang isang larawan ni Jackie na parang nasa hospital bed.

Hindi man niya tahasang pinangalanan si Benjie dito, halata namang ito ang kanyang tinutukoy dahil ito ang kanyang naging unang asawa at ama nina Andre at Kobe.

Kuwento niya, “I’ll start off with this…

“I ‘fell in love’ with a man 10 years older at 15, since my mom was against the relationship for obvious reasons, she had no choice but to move back to the U.S. since the man told her he would marry me once he had his season break which was months away.

“We lived together first, in those next months I would have get pregnant and have 2 miscarriages. Why and how they happened I will save for a more appropriate time.

“Not knowing any better, I still married him a few months later mainly so my family wouldn’t be ashamed I lived with him and also because I believed he would change.

“After we were married in December, I became pregnant with Andre, the situation in the home didn’t change and worse… his mom came for a trip and one day asked me if we had any marital problems she can help with. So I shared a few…

“Once my then husband came home, all hell broke loose because he was upset I told her his issues and she believed him.

“To make this short, she yelled at me saying ‘Palayasin mo ‘yan dito! Tandaan mo, Jackie, wala akong apo sa ‘yo!!!’

“What was I supposed to do? I was pregnant and I’d had 2 previous miscarriages… I had to leave.

“I left for the U.S. and spent most of my pregnancy there with only a few phone calls with him and one visit during the summer.

“My due date was Nov. 3, Andre was born Nov. 1 His dad never arrived. His reason for not coming sooner was he had an important game and his reason for not following after the birth was a typhoon.

“I was all alone. I should have known better.

“I turned 17 3 weeks after Andre was born. I flew to Manila shortly after on a flight all by myself where both Andre and I develop a fever… do you think anybody took us for medical help when we landed??? So many signs… I was so naive.

“I was always second best and never a priority. I never had a voice.

“Maybe that’s why he married a child? I don’t regret any of it because in the end I had Andre and Kobe.

“But this would prove to be the beginning of a very miserable life.