IF you’re fed up of looking for “The One”, perhaps it’s time to start looking for “The Two” – or even The Three or Four.

That’s what boxer David Haye did, confirming on Valentine’s Day that he is in a throuple by sending love to the “beautiful Queens” in his life, singer Una Healy and model Sian Osborne, and sharing a new photo of the three of them in a pool in Costa Rica.

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David Haye is in a throuple with singer Una Healy and model Sian OsborneCredit: Instagram

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Rita Ora was snapped in a threeway kiss with her then-boyfriend, now husband, Taika Waititi and their friend Tessa Mae Thompson in 2021Credit: BackGrid
There has been much speculation about the relationship between David, 42, Una, 41, and Sian, 31, ever since they were photographed arm in arm in Marrakech, Morocco, in January.

He stoked the fire by saying: “If a picture says a thousand words, then this one says exactly what it needs to.”

Pals confirmed that he and Sian had used celebrity dating app Raya to find a third person to invite into their relationship.

But far from provoking outrage, their three-way love was greeted with benign amusement and a healthy dose of curiosity.

That’s not surprising. More people are leaving monogamy behind as polyamory goes mainstream.

Words such as throuple, polycule, polyamorous and threesomes no longer need a dictionary to decode — they are part of modern dating vocabulary.

Try any of the dating apps and it won’t be long before you find people seeking an “open-minded arrangement”.

From suburban married couples to twentysomething singletons, interest in trying dating a different way is growing.

Look no further than the fact that daytime TV staple This Morning recently ran a segment on throuples.

And then there’s the celebrity endorsements. Rita Ora was at it, snapped in a threeway kiss with her then-boyfriend, now husband, Taika Waititi and their friend Tessa Mae Thompson in 2021.

Even bland nepo babies Brooklyn Beckham and Nicola Peltz have flirted with the idea, documenting their intimate friendship with singer Selena Gomez, who captioned one of their many threeway Instagram snaps “Call us a throuple”.

Where celebs go, the rest of us follow. In August, a Yougov survey found 11 per cent of Brits would be open to polyamory and two per cent had tried it.

A recent study by Swansea University found that nearly a third of straight men (32 per cent) would consider polygamy (marrying more than one person) if it were legal and consensual, as would five per cent of women.

While it might not be surprising that blokes are more up for it than women, there’s no doubt that it is a lifestyle no longer confined to the more remote corners of the internet.

“I feel like everyone is able to be much more transparent about their sexual identity now,” says Alex Douglas, a life coach who is polyamorous.

“This lifestyle was often thought of as strange or even immoral but people really are surprised less and less now by the way others choose to lead their lives.”

And there are certainly plenty of ways to dive into the varied world of polyamory.

Sometimes referred to as “ethical non-monogamy”, polyamory can vary widely depending on how individuals choose to organise their relationships.

A triad like David Haye’s, for example, is just one type.

Others include a quad, which is when couples date other couples together, forming a foursome, a vee, which is when one person dates two people who may not know each other separately, and there’s solo polyamory, which is when one person lives alone and has multiple partners they don’t view in any hierarchical manner.

If there is a hierarchy at play, you might be in what is known as a hierarchical polyamorous relationship, where there is one primary couple who may live together or share children who then explore secondary relationships outside of their partner- ship.

These relationships could be experienced together or as individuals.

A cynic might say that this is about commitment phobia, or an excuse for sleeping with as many people as possible.

Not so, says its advocates. Lydia*, 37, who recently started to explore polyamory.

She explains: “There’s this misconception that being poly is just an excuse for sleeping around.

“But that’s really not what it means to me.

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Brooklyn Beckham and Nicola Peltz have flirted with the idea, documenting their friendship with singer Selena Gomez, who a captioned an Instagram snap, ‘Call us a throuple’Credit: Planet Photos
“It’s about the ability to form multiple committed emotional relationships. It’s about love, not sex.”

Writer Alicia Bunyan-Sampson runs the popular @polyamorousblackgirl Instagram account, where she regularly shares advice and insights for those in poly relationships.

She says there is nothing new about the lifestyle, it is just that more people are talking about it.

“I don’t actually think more people are trying polyamory, I just think more people are being honest about their existing polyamorous lives publicly,” she says.

“The best bits about being poly is your ability to customise relationships to suit your needs.

“It also forces you to become a clearer and more efficient communicator and challenges you and improves you as a person.”

But that doesn’t mean it is for everyone.

Piggy in the middle

Guide to polyamory
Pippa*, 55, tried polyamory unsuccessfully with her boyfriend. They broke up a few months later.

“It was a constant game of piggy in the middle,” she says. “He would get really jealous and upset whenever I saw my other partner.

“He got very nasty and it led to a dramatic break-up, even though he was happily seeing other people too.

“I know people who are in very successful poly relationships but I wouldn’t try it again.”

Influencer Morgan K, who posts under @chillpolyamory about polyamory on Instagram, agrees it can be tricky for many.

She explains: “If you have had any trauma or abandonment, it may be incredibly scary, especially in the beginning.

“It’s possible to work through that, but it takes time and energy and partners being on the same page.”

Jealousy can be a big issue too. How can you be with someone who has other partners besides you and not feel envious?

It’s not an easy thing to overcome, requiring tons of communication and trust — and this means a lot of people keen to try polyamory might find it won’t work for them.

Life coach Alex says finding people to be as upfront and honest as he wants to be, which is integral to any poly relationship, has been the biggest challenge.

“Being honest doesn’t necessarily mean you have to update all your partners at all times about what you’re doing if they haven’t asked you to,” he explains.

“But it does mean laying down the facts if you have a primary partner and any other factors that could affect a new relationship or relationships.”

If you are considering polyamory, there are some important things to remember.

The first, says Alicia, is to make sure you establish clear boundaries and rules with all of your partners.

“Learn about what you want and need,” she says. “Remember this is all customisable.”

Alex adds that taking things slowly at first will help.

“The fact you are considering it means you should go with the flow and see how refreshing it can be,” she says. “But remember to take it one step at a time.”

Comedian Rosie Wilby, author of The Breakup Monologues, tried being in a poly relationship but has since returned to monogamy.

While it wasn’t for her, she has learned a lot

She says: “Given how much better polyamory makes you at communication, you’ll have most probably learned how to do monogamy so much better too.”